I feel really bad and such a loser by writing this, but I feel I need to clear the air. Why I’m not keen on bloggers events.

I was at a blogger event not so long ago and once I left I received an email stating that I only turned up to receive the goodies bag and didn’t talk to anyone. Not going into details with the email, but it has brought up an issue I’ve been wondering whether to mentioned on here or not.

I’m a very shy person and often crippled with social anxiety. I never been a go out and meet people type, you might have guessed this if you been reading here. I tend to prefer a cosy night in with Richard, then going out to a club or to a venue in London that’s a nightmare to get to. I don’t think it my age that making thinking like this, I always been like that. I prefer spending money on clothes – rather than on drinks or going to a club.

However, I often try to get out of my comfort zone and fight my shyness by occasionally going out and attending certain events – especially any bloggers events. More so, since I’ve become self-employed as everyone around me keep telling me that it good to meet people and to be social. I tell myself I can do this; I can do this.

But once I’m at an event where I don’t recognize anyone or know anyone, I’m pretty much back to square one and just feel completely shy talking to anyone. So I often don’t know what to do with myself, so I just sit in the corner and try to work out how to approach people.

I think another issue is, as much as I like to say I’m 34 going on 21.  I’m no longer the cool 20 something blogger, I am a girl in her 30s who doesn’t really know how to fit in with people with her age and still like to pretend that she is the cool 20 something blogger.

I am also aware, that yes, I am a squash jelly bean and I’m not a tall long legged blonde. There have been times where I have turned up to an event and it not the ‘look’ they were looking for, so I get ignored all evening.  This also makes it harder for me and giving myself the confidence to go to event. I often think why do I even bother.

So to the original emailer, no I don’t go just for the goodies bag. I go to try and give myself confident to meet people, but my social anxiety often gets the better of me.

I will like to say, not all bloggers events have been bad. If I know someone, then that ok with me and I can hang around them all evening. Two head is better than one.

Does anyone else have that problem with blogger events? How do you overcome your shyness and social anxiety?