Anna Nuttall

I said my hair was the biggest bane of my life, no I got it all wrong – it actually that time of the month which is not only the biggest bane of my life. It more than that, it the most annoyance, frustrated, soul searching time of my life.

I go from ordinary happy go lucky Anna to the angry green Hulk in a blink of an eye, and my moods can go from smiling to crying without any logical explanation. I can make all the plan in the world only to cancel them a second later and instead snuggle in bed with a hot water bottle and Ben & Jerry ice cream.

For fun and I’m sure you think the same things that I do, here are my thoughts process when it comes to that time of the month.

It starts with the dream. You know what I mean. For me, it acts as an early warning alarm. I usually wake up with an ‘oh no’. It reminds me to pick provision when I’m next in Tesco.
I want all the comfort foods in the world – especially chocolate. Oh, put me in a chocolate induced coma, please. Who cares about calories when all I want is all the comfort foods in the world?
Going out, are you kidding me? No thanks, I rather hide at home and tell the outside world to bugger off.
Why am I tearing up all a sudden? I’m sitting at home listening to Celine Dion, and I’m bawling my eyes out.
Scratch that, I’m no longer sad – I’m angry. I’m an angry hulk and don’t you dare stand in my way. Where a punching bag when I need it?
Hold on I’m turned into a Jekyll and Hyde. Why is my mood jumping all over the place? I need to go and lie down.
Paracetamol will make everything all better.
When will this be over?
Why can’t I be a boy? Why god why?
A hormonal zit has appeared on my face – thanks a bloody lot! How can I make this disappear and fast?
Oh shut up with all this exercise happy advice, right now I have no energy, and all I want is ice cream.
Right, now that over and done with for another month – let never speak of my mood swing again.
I need a long hot shower/bath to recover and to feel like my old self.