I don’t even know where to start with this blog post or how I’m going to say, what I want to say, don’t be surprised if this another blog post where my mind is all over the place, and I end up having scattered thoughts.

That first sentence should sum up what my mind has been lately, a real scattered mess where nothing seems to stick, and I’m in an eternal war with myself.

There are days when I feel like I’m a tornado and everything is just swirling around me, and I’m trying to grab onto something, but I don’t seem to keep hold of it.

I think the problem is my mind is over racing and there seem to be a billion thoughts and I don’t seem to have a handle on it.

What I need was a way to slow my racing mind down and give it breathing space where I can stop having scattered thoughts and focus on something concrete.

I have always been aware of mediation and how it can calm you down, but the problem with me is that I don’t just have an active mind – but also active, restless feet as well. I cannot, for the life of me able to sit still long enough. I have restless legs syndrome meaning that I never could sit still long enough to do the actual meditation.

The ideas of mediation came to me around Christmas last year when a book on the subject caught my attention. It was a real essential ‘simple guide to mediation’ book, but it was enough for me to start thinking that mediation might be the answer I was seeking – improving my mental health.

Reading the book wasn’t the only thing I did. I also downloaded a mediation app to help me.  The app is Calm, and it has been a bloody godsend, let me tell you. I finally found a way to stop the swirling tornado inside my mind and give myself some time to breathe.

What I like about Calm is the many different mediation programs it has and how I can cater to what I have been feeling that day. But the biggest thing I have found with the various meditation programs is how it let my mind shut the f**k up for a few moments.

With the mediation, I don’t do it first thing in the morning or the middle of the day as I know I don’t have the patience for it, I like to do it last thing at night, just before turning into the night. I’m a little sleeper at that time and more relaxed.

So, you must be wondering how is mediation helping my mental health?

Remember the swirling vortex that is my mind? Well just putting on a meditation program and taking a 30 mins break does help slow down the swirling whirlwind and I have found after a mediation I’m able to concentrate and focus on something. Mediation has helped me find clarity and has eased my crippling anxiety. It also has given me some very vivid dream that gives me clarity and the right course of action for that day ahead.

Overall what I’m saying is that mediation has helped my mental health and has stopped this fast-moving swirling vortex. I understand mediation might not be for everyone, but I’m so happy I’ve gone down that route and finally took care of my mental health.